I think you're in need of marrying some uber-rich old woman or something
Haha, Lenny. Know of any such person that you can introduce to me?

But seriously. The money thing is actually not so bad; if, with some tough negotiations, I can somehow manage to have 10 items casted for under $5000 (US), then at $1 apiece I'll only need about 250 customers to purchase 2 of each item to break even, which judging your reactions to the prototypes is probably not so as unrealistic as it'd seem. But the problem is that me and my fiance are both trying hard to save up money to get married right now so pouring money into this kind of thing is simply a no-no. And that's the true dilemma; which is a shame, too, both for your custom set and my beards...
And Dan, I'm aware of the problem with the gripping. The handles to those weapons were actually originally all made from a Lego spear, so I assume something must have happened during the casting process that altered their size a bit. But if I ever get to produce anymore items in the future I'll be more aware of this problem and will ask the manufacturer to pay more attention. A quick fix for you though is to buy some new minifig hands from Bricklink, then the gripping will not be a problem, guaranteed. But sorry about that nonetheless!
R. B.